so i’m feeling rather overwhelmed at the moment. i tried to talk to my mom about the voices and noise coming back, despite the meds that were meant to stop it. she didn’t really have much to say about it. so i’m trying desperately not to return to old habits and cut to make the voices go away, but it’s getting really difficult, and i’m so tired and scared and i’m not sure how much longer i can with hold from cutting. 

My psychologist canceled our appointment today, which sucked cause i’m feeling really fragile right now, which is really awful because life keeps moving even when i feel like stopping and breaking down. 

A lot of the time i get really mad with girls i know, complaining about their issues, like their friends being dorks or someone kissing the boy they had a thing with at a party last saturday night that was oh so fabulous, or over how much unprotected sex they had. i sit there and think to myself ‘Ha, try having hallucination that want to kill you, that harm you, try being practically kicked out of home, you think your friends suck? try having friends who think they know everything about your depression and psychosis. Your party was shit in the weekend? i’m lucky if i don’t have to go to hospital in the weekend.’ but none of them will ever understand how insignificant their issues are. i’m not saying i have the worst issues ever or w/e but it’s like, some people are going through a lot more than your typical high school drama.

i’m tired, and feel sick, and disgusting. some one come be nice to me tonight?

(Source: selflesssideofsuicide)